There are some days where I just get it and I see the Spirit working in my life. Do you know what I mean? Some days I just feel totally inspired about life, excited about all of my roles as a Dad, a doctor, a businessman, a friend, a mentor, etc. and "life" just comes effortlessly. Similar to playing Scrabble and high scoring words just pop out of your tiles.
Then there are the opposite days when simple things like taking a shower or doing homework with the kids is just down right difficult. Every step forward you take, you end up 3 steps backward. Some days it feels like I just spin my wheels and should have just sat on the couch all day because every thought, task, chore and duty is so challenging and difficult.
I pray on both kinds of days, but it seems that I pray harder, longer and more intensely on the "off" days versus the "on" days. Hmmm....
On the last and greatest day of the feast, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, " If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him." John 7:37-38
There must be days when my thirst is greater than others as a result of the spiritual battles in my life. It's up to me, when I am thirsty, to drink. The Spirit won't make me drink. It's up to me to do it. I must go to Him. Just like thirst in the human body is a sign that you are lacking water (and in fact, if you don't drink until you're thirsty, it's too lat, you are already dehydrated!), so too are "off"days reminders that we haven't fed the soul with enough Spirit.
I know this to be true: there are days when I am rushed and don't put all my focus into my time with the Lord and there are days when I simply sit and enjoy Him, without interruption. Contemplation of this observation of "off" days versus "on" days leads me to understand that I should not judge myself, or take responsibility for the ease or difficulty of each day for I, alone, do not have that much power or control in my life. What I should be focused on in either situation is my time with the Lord.
Dang, it's hard to be human! Praise God for His goodness and mercy and the grace He has given me to be able to fall short, so often, and to remain with Him. His love is unending, forever enduring and completely available, just take a drink.